Vacation was the biggest challenge I think I'll face this early in recovery, but less than a week later, I'm heading into another significant challenge. I was very anxious going into vacation, mostly about the sobriety part, but I feel much less anxiety going into a 3-day conference in Texas. The conference is a meeting of dietitians who work in the field of genetic and metabolic disorders. I happen to be doing my dissertation on a population with PKU, a genetic disorder, so I'm presenting some of my work and also helping to man a booth for my dissertation adviser.
I'm riding public transportation to the airport and I'm feeling excited instead of nervous. My most significant challenge will be staying in a hotel room by myself, but I'm not going to let myself think of that in advance, or make any plans to abuse my freedom. I find that when I expect or plan on something happening, the chances that it will are 100%. I have no desire to binge or purge on this trip and I have a goal of coming home on Saturday and announcing to Peter I did not purge once.
To make this weekend a success though, I'm going to have to eat and eat foods I'm not completely comfortable with. I am planning for a healthy amount of exercise each morning before activities, pending my knee is okay, and plenty of outdoor activities in the evening after the conference concludes each day. I can't restrict or label foods as good or bad or I will end up compensating, which always results in the binge purge. I'm also thinking back to all of the other trips I've made to new and exciting cities, spent with my head in the toilet, miserable, broke, and so sick. I have never been to Dallas before, and I'm not about to mess this up!
I will use this blog as a resource to help ne through any urges or difficult times, so hopefully I can get some great posting in over the next few days!
No comments:
Post a Comment