Weight Gain Plateau

Hello ladies and gents. Another good day under my belt, even with some unwelcome news at the end of the day. In the past, unexpected stress-inducing news would have sent me into a tailspin of binge/purge, restricting, and running 12,000 miles. Today? It didn't really affect me.

First, the unwelcome news. My weight has plateaued. At what? I have no idea. I do not wish to know my weight, as it's extremely triggering, and not all that important to me. The dietitian blames this on the increased metabolism that accompanies weight restoration, but I know it's because I can't incorporate any more clothing layers before morning weigh in without this.

Refeeding is a tricky process indeed. Severe restriction of calories slows the body's metabolism greatly. The body conserves as much energy as possible for essential processes - keeping your brain, heart, organs, and peripheral muscles functioning. Everything else slows down. Metabolic rate [non-science speak: the amount of energy (calories) needed to simply exist], lower blood pressure, lower heart rate. Low and slow. 

Non-eating-disordered women in their teens to mid-20s may burn up to 1500 calories just being. Add activity and you've got a lot of calories to eat just to maintain, girl. Those who restrict experience a decrease in metabolic rate. During recovery, additional calories may shock the system at first, a dangerous phenomenon known as refeeding syndrome, but once the body becomes used to a more normal intake, metabolic rate rebounds. We take advantage of the adequate energy, burning through it and happily functioning somewhat close to normal. 

An increase in metabolic rate with an increase in caloric intake causes a weight gain plateau after the initial phase of treatment and refeeding. So it's true. I've either plateaued, or I simply haven't gained much weight at all. For me though, it's less important to gain weight and more important to normalize my relationship with food. I am not obsessed with being super skinny - or at least that's what I tell my out-of-touch-with-reality-self. I want to be in shape, athletic, run as much as a I please, and forgo binging and purging for the rest of my life. To me, that is successful recovery from this eating disorders.

Anyway, on to the unwelcome news. Next week, as a result of this plateau, I bump up to meal plan B from meal plan A. In food exchange speak, that means an additional fat and dairy with breakfast and lunch. Nothing extreme, or even noticeable if I'm not counting calories, but additional food nonetheless. Aaaaaaaaand, I'm also adding a Boost to both snacks during the day. 360 x 2 = 720 more calories. Per Day. More Than My Daily Caloric Intake Before Treatment. 

Okay, that initiates panic. I have to stop with the numbers already. I think I will have to do some negotiation with this new development. I'd so much rather eat an additional 720 calories of delicious food than drink 12 ounces of Boost Plus. Not ideal. I've deviated from the point of this post. I'm making progress. Taking things in stride. Treatment is so much easier when you're compliant, follow the rules, and accept that you have to make these changes in order to get out. 

I'm still going to have an excellent weekend, show up on Monday, and deal to heal.