Treatment Day 1 (TD1)

Well folks, turns out 26 isn't too old to get in trouble! Treatment Day 1 (TD1) started with a bang for this eating disorder senior citizen. I was plenty used to trouble and reprimanding in my rebellious years, so I suppose life goes full circle more often than not. Here's how it went down.

Up til 1:00 am last night. Alarm at 6:25 am. Up and at em....................
   ✓ 5.25 hours of sleep
   ✓ Hangover
   ✓ Bags under eyes
   ✓ 22 degrees (wind chill 6 degrees) outside
   ✓ Run 7 miles at the gym
   ✓ Drive to treatment

I arrive at 8:15 am sharp to knock out the paperwork requirement, but spend 45 minutes hanging out with the building security guard waiting for staff to show. Guard and I put our heads together and decide to call the main phone line in case a staff member snuck in. Low and behold, the center voicemail confirms: weather delay on account of we're in the South and it's Cold Today.

So what does one with an eating disorder do with an extra hour and change? Why, she grabs the running shoes, socks, shorts, and dark memoir from her car, and hops on the treadmill in the building gym of course (for 1.5 miles til she's caught cruising at 8.3 miles per hour).

Using symptoms, they say! ooops.
Proceed to weigh in. Weight loss, they say! Double oooooops.

Am I going to be kicked out of treatment on my first day? Nope, but I will be supplemented with 360 calories of Boost Plus. At least I can choose if I would like chocolate or vanilla. Vanilla it is.

In hindsight, I shouldn't have consumed -700 calories yesterday and run 7 miles this morning. My stomach doesn't appreciate the Boost, then the extraordinarily large baked potato + butter + broccoli + cheese, string cheese, and apple for lunch, but understands what making my own meal plan and rules accomplishes. Nada.

Something did go well today though. I suppose it's only fair to mention successes and breakthroughs amidst the negative nancy-ness of this post. It comes in the form on art therapy, which I really love. Check out our group (well, it was just three of us today) mandala. We started with a circle and ended up with....

Okay, that's all the positive I have in me. After we are cut loose at 2:45 pm, I fail again, drinking diet soda and coffee and eating peanut butter crackers and oatmeal until I hands-free purge. It bothers me that the potato and apple consumed at 12:40 still come up at 3:30 (and again at 9 pm).

Free time means I walk 3 miles with my boyfriend's dog, learn that treatment is cancelled tomorrow because it's Still Cold, and wind up with more free time. I write this blog post from the treadmill at the gym, walking 2 more miles after running 3 in 20 minutes.

I feel tired. I must eat dinner. I will drink tonight. I must get better.