Prozac

In the spirit of celebrating recovery, I'd like to give a shout out to my 6-month anniversary with Prozac. Our first months together have been full of surprises, mostly not good as of late, ups and downs with a strong inclination towards down, and extremely volatile, bordering on unstable. So, Prozac, consider this a break up call.

But really, while I'm notoriously quick to make excuses, I'm honestly questioning my emotional and physical wel-being after the past six months. Everything seemed to prove dramatically during the first month of treatment and even in the real world after, but I think I was too quick to attribute changes to the Prozac, instead of giving myself some credit.

Now, as I'm starting to seriously struggle, the benefits I once assumed were directly related to meds, have disappeared. Instead, I've adopted a case of crippling depression and anxiety. Mostly anxiety. I'd like to think it's just a result of 6 months of sobriety, a transient stage that soon will pass. Instead, I'm forced to face physical evidence including blood pressure high enough to qualify me for pre-hypertension, severe mood swings causing ends of precious relationships, and a complete ack of care about anything at all, including any progress I've made in eating, drinking, and exercising.

I've read several memoirs recently about young women with eating disorders exacerbated by co-occurring mental disorders like borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder. I've also always wondered if my issues, particularly my fondness of exhausting routines, may stem from obsessive compulsive disorder. Medications management of these disorders is NOT Prozac, and I'm wondering if some of my recent symptoms could be related to misdiagnoses.

I still remember questioning my initial diagnosis of depression because while I do feel sad, lost, and hopeless sometimes, these emotions are rarely overwhelming. Instead, my physical reactions to certain situations (for example, shaking when I'm forced to face foods I'm not comfortable with or feeling my chest tighten if my schedule changes to impact my planned exercise) indicate anxiety.

Fortunately, I have an upcoming appointment with my psychiatrist (who is about my age and seems way uncomfortable around me... I don't bite dude, and definitely not you). I'm going to compile some evidence documenting my recent even further decent into madness, that may coincide with the Prozac and see what happens.

Anyone out there have any particularly good luck with meds? Please help...