Tired

I've been tired lately. Not the kind of tired that is remedied with a good night's sleep, the kind of tired that shows in my posture and my face and my mannerisms.

I think I use tired to numb. I float around from meeting to task to desk to school to meeting. Too busy for appointments, too tired to care.

I want to be numb. When I have something I love to keep me wanting to feel, I don't seek out the tired. It's when I have myself and work, and that's it, that I can't sit with myself without wanting to be anywhere else.